23 days left..

until today,i don't really start to study yet. but now,i am prepared to face anything once you are back. i believe you are there, please come back!

one last thing.... 26 days left

urgh, now i am able to read and listen like a normal person,what i need more is just one last piece of the brain,as simple as that.i know my trauma isn't gone off completely!
i think i see there is a hope for my physics because my tuition teacher makes a shortcut for us,very short indeed.thanks god.

29 days left...problem =="

i realised that i am not as confident as before.last time, i believe i can solve any question when it come to me,but now i doubt myself would do the same. i still couldn't generate idea,maybe it wasn't used for quite some time. or there is a part that haven't recovered.i need confidence! my recipe is 70% of recovery and 30% of confidence. but why i feel so powerful when the first time i opened my brain? weird.

another thing i'm wondering...shouldn't write it here because she knows here. =="

erm,nothing else?

i am recovered!

i don't know i was traumatized all this time,almost a year.finally i get through this.time to strive for A liao! woohooo!but wait a minute,i feel my analytic brain has a little bit rusted.i haven't tested the mental power yet,because of sick recently.tomorrow should be ok already =)

nobody trust me

everytime i tell them my problem,they look very skeptical to what i've said. even the closest friends,they are helpless.is asian mind rather narrow? they don't believe brain damage,they would tell you that you are thinking too much.or they will say it is just a psychological obstacle,you certainly can overcome it. how many times i have told them? it is not that i like to show i am weak or fragile. i never feel happy for expressing my problems. moreover i never earn trust from my mom,she thought she knows me better and yet she take my words lightly.my sister also claims that i am giving excuses for my laziness. even my friends are laughing at me when i tell them.i am sad that only a few friends trust me but they couldn't help me too.

43 days left...

these days i feel emotionally extreme.it's like blur and a little bit of high,especially sexual drive kinda strong.the comprehensive ability deteriorates which in turn worsens my self-confidence.i felt very stress during mathematics tuition class. i don't have the basics that suppose i should have learnt. i try to listen the brainwave,but it only does a little impact on me. losing my patience,i m getting pissed off. what the hell are you playing with me? i don't have much time left. keeping my mind clear is very suffering.

path... (45 days left)

just came back from weng hooi's party at richard home.i couldn't talk with his english-speaking friends.
i saw the photos of a friend who is studying in korea. i suddenly feel that i would be much happier if i were him. perhaps,i prefer a nerdy life,study happily with a group of nerdy friends,score good results and then celebrate together at a nice restaurant.nothing to be worrying except study =)
indeed,i learn something from f6 life,especially politics.but is that what i want? i am not happy with that,but i know it will make me tougher,a stronger person that jpa couldn't offer. i have also known a lot of friends that i couldn't possibly found in a nerd's world. sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable too. i know it certainly will nurture me to become a better person. i am still hoping that i can live in a nerd world. i don't know which kind of life i should live on. now,should i follow the environment,follow the other's path or create my own path? should i stay on or take a cross to another road? if i do,i am sure my life would be messed up.